Sherry

I was so angry and mad. I was crying with no hope for making Esteban mine. I confessed to him how much I do love him. I told him what I have been hiding inside my chest for a very long time hoping that he might understand me.

I know that he believed me but I couldn’t understand why I felt from his kiss that he holds feelings for me as well as I am.

And why he ignored all of these emotions easily by pushing me away from him.

Why couldn't he listen to my heart and his heart?!

Why couldn't he give us a chance or maybe another kiss to test his feelings?!

I was standing to feel terribly guilty and lost. I wished that the ground could open up and swallow me at this moment. That was terrible to be ignored and rejected by the one you love most in this world.

I know very well that it was an impossible relationship from the beginning, I knew that it was risky and could put my relationship with Esteban as brother and sister on the edge.

But I just couldn’t bear any more.

I wanted to scream loudly in front of everyone in this fucking engagement party and tell him how much I love him.

When I asked the pianist to play the song and when I started to think all I was imagining was Esteban. He loved this song and I wanted to give him a hint that I’m singing this to him, not for my boyfriend Derek.

I knew that Derek was so fucking excited about being my date but I didn’t care. Yes, I used Derek to tease Esteban who obviously was angry at me.

But not for the same reason I was mad at him! I wonder why he always hated seeing me with new boyfriends. Because of his reputation as a famous businessman?! I didn’t really get it.

But sure he just loved me as only a sister.

But hell to me, I was living in hell. Craving for his touch. Want more from him.

My instinct was right about this weird party that suddenly and out of nowhere Esteban prepared and invited me to attend to it. As Jack said to me something weird will happen.

And it wasn’t weird, it was a horrible night for me. As if all the nightmares in the whole world combined together to scare me to death.

I was barely standing on my feet after Esteban announced his engagement to Emma. That mentally and emotionally killed me. I couldn’t breathe. All I was able to do is to reject this marriage.

I don’t know why he decided to get married all of sudden without telling me or discussing with me a very important matter in his life.

We used to tell each other everything in detail. At least he should give me a hint for that, we have each other only. How could he be able to do something like that to me?

Even if I wasn’t sickly in love with him, even if I was considering him as only my elder brother. He should take my opinion into consideration.

But that was awful and heartless from him as if he was telling me I’m not the most important person in his life anymore!

I yelled and shouted and protested as if I didn’t hear his words. But he was just awful and acting differently. As if we were strangers! I couldn't see where the hell my brother was at that moment.

I just wore the face of the rude girl again and teased him by dancing with Derek and by informing him in retention that I will get married to Derek as well.

It was like a Tom and Jerry game. Every one of us was teasing the other as if we were enemies.

But for the first time, he acted as he didn’t give a shit to me. Or that's what I thought at the beginning until I decided to sing his favorite song. But I dedicated this song to Derek. Of course, every one of the guests including Derek and Emma believed that the song was for my boyfriend.

But no! The only Esteban knew very well it was for him.

I sang the song feeling every word squeezing my heart painfully. I just couldn’t block the tears in my eyes. It was rainy. I was shivering imagining my only love picture on his wedding day. I imagined Esteban kissing his bride. I flee with my imagination to the near future and admit it was tough for me to believe that I will lose this battle of love.

I finished the sing and rushed to Derek pulling him into kidnapping a strong kiss. I knew Derek was shocked but he soon responded to my kiss.

But— Esteban was in the middle between me and Derek in just a moment punching Derek face roughly and pushing me with a hard slap on my face when I yelled at him nagging about his reaction and his interfering in my life.

Deep inside me, I was happy that Esteban couldn't see me in the arms of anyone else.

But hell again, that brother's jealousy did nothing more.

Derek got scared from Esteban I guess because, in just a blink of an eye, Derek was gone from my sight.

And I was dragged by Esteban to my room. I didn’t protest or make a move, I just stayed silent waiting to be in private with him.

I was praying that Esteban could hear the words of my heart. But he didn’t. When I touched him and thrust his mouth with my lips. He kissed me back and it was sparkling flames of love and passion. It was totally different. Something I didn’t even feel before. He lost himself between my touch as well as me.

For more than two minutes we didn't stop. Until he pulled himself away from me yelling. It was harsh words but with a different tone. Mixed with blaming and regret and accusing me of trying to seduce my brother. I felt so guilty but I begged him to listen to me and his heart.

He shut his ears and his heart for me. He just gave me his back and ignored all my words as a deaf. Walking out of my room angrily leaving me with a million questions in my head.

I wanted to find an answer but I couldn’t, that's why I decided to follow him to talk to him again. I confessed my love to him, he already knew and there was no coming back.

But once I stepped to the pool trailing Esteban I found him kissing Emma as if he was erasing the taste of my lips by her.

It was a painfully hurtful feeling to me, I felt so broken hearted and shattered. My head was like a dead person. And all I was thinking about was running and running away from him. There was no place to go. There was no one to find.

I just instantly hopped inside my car and went the highest speed ever as if I was a pilot and driving a plane.

There was no plan at that moment, no hopes, no future for me. It was death! Only was what I thought about.

But— Derek called me at that moment and that helped me to wait and think wisely. Death won’t make Esteban mine. He will forget about me sooner and get married to Emma or other girls.

The idea of committing suicide was bad. I admit that Derek saved me from making a huge disaster.

I decided to play along with him. Maybe he wasn’t that afraid of Esteban. Whether he was in love with me or not. I was going to play as much as I could.

And somehow I felt so happy when Esteban called me several times on my cell phone. I smirked to myself because the hope came back to me again.

At least, I didn’t lose Esteban as my brother.

I called Derek first “Derek? Where are you?” I asked him in a hurry.

“baby, at my house, are you okay?” Derek worriedly asked me.

I sighed “no, I’m not. I fought with Esteban and I don’t know where I should go for now. I left the house and he is after me now.” I explained to Derek.

“Okay, why don’t you come to my house?” Derek asked and I silently smirked. Is he going to be an enemy with Esteban for me?!

Maybe that guy is not bad for me. Maybe I will fall for his love if I open my heart for him a bit.

I snapped to myself and asked Derek “you shouldn’t do that. Esteban might hurt you.”

Derek chuckled “don’t worry, he can’t do anything to me. Don’t underestimate me and my family. We are so rich and powerful. Just come to my house and I will protect you. I will be waiting for you.” Derek informed me with so much egotistical and confident tone.

“Okay,” I said and hung up, turning over to Derek's house. Esteban didn’t stop calling me over and over and all I did was shut down my cell phone to make him feel guilty.

But before switching off my cell phone, I grabbed my cell phone and recorded a voice message to send to Esteban. It was a song, just for him.

If I should stay

I would only be in your way

So I’ll go but I know

I'll think of you every step of the way

And I— Will always love you, ooh

Will always love you

You

My darling, you—

Mm-mm

Bittersweet memories –

That is all I'm taking with me.

So good-bye.

Please don't cry:

We both know I'm not what you, you need

And I— Will always love you

I— Will always love you

You, ooh

I hope life treats your kind

And I hope you have all you've dreamed of

And I wish you joy and happiness

But above all this, I wish you love

And I— Will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you.

You.

Darling, I love you.

I'll always—

I'll always love you.

With every word coming out of my mouth I was dying from the inside. I couldn't imagine my life without him. But somehow I decided to make my best to forget about him. To take a break and spend much time with Derek or even with any other guy. To try to clear, Esteban path. To let him love whatever he wants to. It wasn't sacrificed by my happiness I know. But it was more, it was for his sake. I couldn't be selfish. He raised me, he took care of me after my parents died. He was everything to me. He didn't let me down.

I was confused and my devil didn't let me think in an angelic way at all. But I decided to ignore all the evil thoughts from now until the fires calm down. I needed to be away for some time to figure out whether I wanted to tease Esteban and seduce him to be mine. Which will be an impossible mission because I want his heart and his soul and not his hot body.

Or if I will try to be a normal sister and keep myself away and live happily with another guy and make a normal life.

It might take months and maybe years for me to do this. But in the end, I was hoping that I will reach my target.

After sending the voice message song to Esteban, I closed my cell phone and threw it in the back seat in my car. I drove as fast as possible to Derek mansion. I knew that Esteban wouldn't be able to find me this time easily. He didn't know Derek's full name. We didn't have much time to introduce him properly at the engagement party.

Because I was fucking mad as hell and Esteban was an asshole as hell acting weirdly. I was going mildly crazy.

Does he love Emma?! Why did he kiss her then? Does he love her?!

Then why am I suffering now to forget about his kiss? Why I feel so disgusted because I kissed Derek!