POV: Kelly

Kelly went to school earlier than usual.

Her mind was preoccupied with a lot of things. She thought that everything was now moving roughly and slower than normal – and she didn’t like any bit of it at all. She couldn’t forget her last encounter with Johann.

He matured physically – yes, and she couldn’t stop her naughty heart in thumping so quickly just by thinking about him. His undercut hair was now longer that it reached his nape, his rounded cobalt blue eyes, his pointed nose, and his kissable lips…

Kelly annoyingly forbade herself from thinking about him again as she let out a deep breathy sigh.

She wasn’t her Johann anymore. She was a totally different person, and he was now called Nick Baker – and it was based on articles that she had refrained from reading since they broke up. She couldn’t continue reading about him last night, for her chest was hurting so much about his – well, playboy acts – and she didn’t have any right to condemn him from it, though. They were already done three years ago.

She remembered how cold she looked at her – and it kept on hunting her since then. Gone were the care, the concern… and the love that were used to glimmer in his lovely eyes. She wanted to convince herself that she wasn’t affected by it and that she also had moved on now. That she had no feelings for him anymore.

That she should get mad at him for saying harsh things to her. Well, in fact, she’s the one who should feel that way. She should have been the one getting furious and slashing him with her sharp words. That she was the one whom he hurt. That he didn’t have any reason to get angry at her.

But she was failing miserably – for she knew, she couldn’t do it to him.

Because deep in her heart – she was just fooling herself if she did those things.

She couldn’t deny that after three long years, her feelings for him weren’t gone. It was there and it was just buried very deep inside her heart. That no matter how much she denied it to herself – it would always linger inside her heart.

And that whatever nasty words he told her – no matter how painful memories he gave her, there would always be a special place for him in her heart.

And she couldn’t do something about – she bit her lower lip to stop her intensifying emotions.

She was totally hopeless.

Is she a martyr or just plain stupid – she thought.

How could she still love the same man who had caused her so much pain?

How could she love and hate the same man at the same time?

Kelly heaved a deep sigh.

Well, maybe because love could heal the scars caused by pain? Maybe because love could make her forgive, and through time it made her forget – not all but at least less the pain and be open for reasons.

And maybe, it wasn’t pure hatred that she felt… for him. Maybe it was just her sudden absolute mechanism to protect herself from showing what she truly felt – that she was showing her the hate to hide her love – that was rooted within her, without her knowing. She was just too scared and hurt to accept it.

Maybe she was just so disappointed in herself, that the thick and huge wall she built around her – easily collapsed in just a snap.

She didn’t really know and now she wasn’t really certain if she could accept the love that was starting to creep her entire system.

She didn’t know how long she was staring blankly at the blackboard in front. While thinking all of those passive thoughts inside her head.

She heaved a deep sigh as she leaned her back to her chair. She gently massaged the bridge of her nose – trying to ease her mixed emotions and haywire mind.

Minutes passed, and she looked at her wristwatch – revealing to her that she needed to get a grip on her horses and be productive.

Kelly let out another deep breathy sigh.

“You can do this, Kelly.” She repeatedly whispered to herself as she stood up and flattened her uniform, as if they were crumpled because of her steady sitting in her chair.

“Miss Kelly, are you okay?” Jillian’s voice resonated in her ears as her gaze dropped on the little kid – innocently looking at her.

Her eyes widened with surprise. She didn’t know a pair of eyes were already watching her absentmindedly thinking about her past. Kelly’s face turned pale pink because of embarrassment.

She cleared her throat and painted an awkward smile as she faced the child.

“G-good morning! I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’re already here. How long have you been there?” She stammered, but tried to cover it with her sweet smile, but ended up looking like a grimace.

“I was already calling you twice, Miss Kelly. I’m already here a quite some time now. Are you sure you are okay?” Jillian inquired as she looked at her with her typical innocent and concerned face.

She widened her smile at her and nodded her head.

“Yes. I’m sorry, I’m okay Jill. I’m just thinking of something. You may now go to your seat.” Kelly sincerely told her, and she smiled amiably.

“Don’t worry, Miss Kelly. My mom told me that every problem will always have a solution. Don’t stress yourself out, you will just get old.” Jillian actively explained and gave her a bright smile.

She let out a hearty chuckle. Kids really never wavered to make her smile.

“That was so nice. Thank you, Jill.” She gently answered and tapped her head affectionately.

“By the way, Miss Kelly, Mom and Dad wanted to meet you.” She innocently told her as she chuckled and pointed at the two other people standing outside her classroom door.

Then Jillian turned around and joyfully moved towards her designated seat.

She bit her lower lip out of embarrassment and heaved a deep sigh – trying to hide her blushing face.

Kelly looked at the couple, who were genuinely smiling at her and walked hesitantly towards them.

“Uhm, sorry about that.” She apologized awkwardly.

“It’s fine. Actually, I apologize. Jillian was just so nosy, well… most of the time.” The woman said with her giddy face.

She was taller than her a bit. She’s wearing a simple purple sun dress that falls under her knees that was paired with black pumps – emphasizing her porcelain skin. She seemed naiveté and innocent – just like little Jillian.

“Besides, we didn’t intend to go here, actually. Jillian was just so fond of you and talked about you nonstop at home, so we decided to pay you a visit. I’m Eliana Baker, by the way, but you can call me Eli.” The woman explained as she extended her hand for a shake, which she gladly took.

Her sweet voice suited her angelic face. She had fair skin and shiny black straight hair that were neatly top knotted. She had doe-like deep blue eyes and a natural rosy cheek. Her plumped natural pink lips matched her heart-shaped face.

“And this is Nicklaus Jameson Baker, my husband.” She introduced the man who was smiling brightly beside her – who exactly looked like Johann – but he was more matured looking than the latter.

“Nice to finally meet you, Miss Kelly, call me James.” He said in a friendly tone as he extended his hand towards her, which she uneasily took.

Kelly slightly shook her head to ignore the face that was slowly appearing on her mind.

“Glad to finally meet you, too.” She abruptly answered – still embarrassed about the scene she had a while ago.

“I’m Nick’s older brother. I believe you met him yesterday. Jillian won’t stop telling us about it.” He carefully said as he looked at her wife, then back at her, “I’m sorry if he offended you… in any way.” His voice was laced with worry that also was visibly written on his face.

Kelly was now uncomfortable with the topic they had, but she acted civil and as if it was nothing to her.

“No worries. It’s okay.” She gracefully stated and gave them a slight smile while waving her both hands in front of them.

“Anyway, we needed to go. We just dropped by to finally meet you.” Eli kindly said as she gave her a sweet smile – she knew now where Jillian had inherited her bright and innocent sweet smile.

“Thank you and please be patient with Jill.” James also told her with a big smile on his face.

“Of course. She was participative in class and friendly, too, so don’t worry about her.” Kelly assured them.

“That’s great. Now, we are rest assured. Thank you, Miss Kelly. Maybe we can still meet some other time?” Eli requested in her angelic voice.

“Uh… sure.” Kelly forcedly answered as they finally bid their goodbyes at her.

Kelly waved her hand and heaved a deep sigh the moment they were out of her sight.

She was about to go inside her room when her phone vibrated from the pocket of her blouse.

Her forehead creased when she saw her mother’s number registered on her phone screen.

“Hello, Mom?” Kelly joyously answered – her bright smile turned into a confused face the moment someone answered her mother’s phone.

“Hello?” A foreign female voice resonated in the other line.

She looked at the number once again to check whether it was her mother’s number registered. Kelly was now worried when she confirmed it was – who the heck was this?

Surely, it wasn’t her mother who was on the line.

“Who’s this? Why do you have my mother’s phone?” She politely asked – but her voice was mixed with worry and nervousness.

“Uhm… are you, her daughter? Well, your mother was now being rushed to the hospital.” The unfamiliar woman broke the news to her.

Kelly’s mouth widened as she lifted her hand to cover it because of both shock and deep concern. Her hands trembled and she bit her lip to stifle her stuttering voice.

“W-what happened?” Kelly breathily asked as she tried to stay calm.

“I don’t know. The doctor was asking for her family member.” The woman instantly answered her.

Kelly bid her goodbye and thanked the woman after knowing which hospital, her mother was admitted to. She frantically went to Anne’s room, which was two rooms away from her, and asked for help.

Everything became blurry to her – for all that was running her mind was her mother’s condition. She was quietly hoping that she was alright and that it wasn’t something serious.

Kelly immediately ran out of the bus, where she rode, and moved her tracks towards the hospital.

Her heart beat was thumping hysterically inside her chest.

“Thank you for rushing her here. What happened? Where is she? Is she okay now?” Kelly shakingly asked the woman, who introduced herself as Minnie, who was the one who called her and was waiting for her outside the emergency room.

“I’m sorry, but I still don’t know. She was just walking down the road when she suddenly collapsed. I was walking on the other side of the road when it happened, and I immediately rushed her here. The attending doctor just went out a bit to ask for the immediate family and went back inside again. So, I called you because the nurse gave me your mother’s phone and belongings. Until now, he was still inside.” Minnie sadly explained to her as she gave her – her mother’s bag and phone.

“Thank you so much.” Kelly sincerely said as she looked at the closed door where she said her mother was.

“I’m sorry, Kelly but I needed to go now. I needed to supervise the business that I left.” Minutes passed and Minnie bids her goodbye.

Kelly was just so grateful to her that she assured her that they would meet again in a more favorable circumstance.

“Don’t worry about it. Just pray for your mom’s fast recovery.” That was Minnie earnestly told her before she left.

She slowly sat down in the waiting chair – her knees weakened as her head throbbed with despair.

She held her temple and massaged it gently to ease the pain as she silently prayed for her mother’s recovery.

An hour passed and the emergency room opened. Kelly immediately stood up and went near the doctor, who was now removing his facial masks.

“Are you the patient’s immediate family?” The doctor seriously asked her.

Kelly abruptly nodded her head – couldn’t find the right words to say.

“Y-yes. How was my mother?” She worriedly asked.

“Well, I will be very honest with you. Your mother was suffering from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease – the reason why she was having a hard time breathing. I bet she was already experiencing this for a long time now. I will run some other tests and I recommend that she undergo surgery as soon as possible.” The doctor seriously told her.

Kelly was now in the midst of bewilderment – like a bomb has been dropped inside her ears.