POV: Johann / Nick

It was a normal day for Johann, and he wanted to just get drunk until dawn once again to appease his mind from thinking about Kelly – like he always did for the past few days. He couldn’t get his mind away from her – their happy memories together, as well as the painful ones that he was trying to avoid.

Unfortunately, his brother’s family decided to bombard his silence with a simple dinner in the backyard of his mansion. He was living on his own, the moment he turned eighteen – when he got his inheritance from his father. He was good in numbers – luckily – and started investing for fun.

He didn’t like to handle business – well, at first. He was adventurous and a happy go-lucky guy who just went with the flow. Besides, the four corners of an office room seemed like suffocating him.

Not until, Kelly entered and abruptly exited his life.

Business became his escape – it became his shield and sword.

Johann shook his head as memories of the past flooded like rushing water over his head.

“Uncle Nick!” Little Jill’s sweet voice resonated throughout the entire mansion – making Johann chuckle and bringing himself out of his fleeting reverie.

Jillian gave him a tight hug, which he instantly reciprocated.

Her parents – Eli and James – were standing behind her wearing their bright smiles while looking at them.

“How are you, young lady?” He playfully asked after their warm embrace.

It had been quite some time now, since Jillian last went here to his house. He was busy and she, well, was also busy with her studies.

Sometimes, she would prefer to sleep at his house and have bonding time with him. They both share a love of music. He was a musician who could play piano and guitar – and Jillian, on the other hand, knew how to play the piano at her very young age, so they would just jam in his music room, singing their favorite songs.

He suddenly missed it.

“I’m fine, Uncle. Actually, I’m just sad that Miss Kelly needed to attend to some important matters. Miss Anne said it was an emergency. So, I’m quite sad and worried. I was thinking what it could be and if she was alright?” Jill smartly explained as she made a face and tapped her chin with her index finger.

Johann’s face turned sour with just a mere mention of Kelly’s name, which Eli and James immediately noticed.

“Uhmm… Jill, come on, sweetheart, let’s look at the food in the kitchen. Let’s help Nanny Mila, okay?” Eli abruptly said and interrupted them.

“Yey! I love Nanny Mila’s spaghetti and meatballs! Come on, Mommy. Let’s go to the kitchen.” Jillian immediately answered and joyfully pulled her mother’s hand towards the kitchen – forgetting her worries a few moments ago.

Eli just gave them a knowing look as she let her daughter walk her towards the kitchen.

Johann let out a deep sigh as he leaned his back on his dirty white camelback sofa and massaged the bridge of his nose gently while closing his eyes.

“So, how are you?” James suddenly asked as he sat on the single armchair sofa at his left side.

He let out a deep sigh and looked at his older brother.

“I’m fine.” He coldly answered him as he let out a deep sigh.

“Really?” James sarcastically said and that made his forehead crease.

“What?” He innocently asked as James burst into joyous laughter, which made him more annoyed now.

His older brother had this kind of playful antics that made him more irritated.

“Nothing.” James playfully said in a sing-song voice.

“What the hell, James.” He impatiently told him.

“Chill.” He still had his smug face as he raised both of his hands in the air – surrendering.

James cleared his throat as Johann raised his brow while watching him intently.

“You surely needed to enroll into an acting class before you deceived me, bro. I know you have a problem.” He frankly stated as he seriously looked at him.

Johann just annoyingly moved his gaze away from him.

“Johann,” he called him – making him groan in disapproval.

Three years ago, he had already ditched that part of his name. He didn’t want to be called that way again. He loathed that name – for it brought painful memories to him. Memories that he’d rather forget.

“Nick, Jameson.” He corrected and threw a warning look at him as he clenched his jaw.

He heard his brother let out a deep sigh.

“Fine. Nick. How long are going to stay like this, bro?” James asked – his voice was laced with concern.

“What do you mean? Stop talking in riddles, James.” Johann told him with a slight chuckle – full of pretenses, but his brother knew better.

He didn’t want to admit it nor to get serious on this because he had this slight idea on where this conversation would lead them to.

“Fine. Let’s get serious, bro.”

Gone were the playful smiles written on his face as he wore his serious mode now.

“How long are you going to play as if you were not affected by Kelly?” He directly asked him.

That was the question he would rather not talk to. He closed his eyes firmly and massaged his temples.

Jameson never met Kelly during their entire relationship. He just knew her in his stories when…

Johann pressed both his lips together to calm his raging nerves.

“Stop it, James. I don’t want to talk about it.” He grimly said, and gritted his teeth to contain his intense ferocity growing inside him.

James heaved a deep sigh of defeat. He wouldn’t want to ruin his brother’s mood.

Not now.

But it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t give him a little piece of unsolicited advice.

“Fine. But I am just here for you, okay? And just a brotherly advice, bro. Don’t let that hate to eat you up. Life is too short to spend it in too much anger and revenge. Talk to her – maybe, not to patch things from the past, but to finally close the curtain and set yourself free from all your what-ifs and what-happened questions. You owe yourself that – stop torturing yourself.” His older brother told him as he tapped his shoulder – giving him comfort.

“Granny!” Jillian’s girly voice echoed at the four corners of the room – breaking the tension floating in the air.

She ran towards the huge door where his mother – Juliana Baker – was proudly standing.

She was wearing a black chemise dress with intricate embroidery using white thread matched with one inched kitten heel black shoes. Her white pearl necklace matched her earrings as well as her silver wristwatch. Her make up was classic paired with her French twisted hair. Her mother was an example of a classic and sophisticated woman despite her age.

In fact, she still had a lot of suitors since their father died – he clenched his jaw at that thought.

“Granny, good thing, you came.” Jillian giddily said as she kissed her grandmother.

Eli moved towards her and kissed her cheeks, too.

James stood up and stared at him with that knowing look and moved towards where their mother was to greet her. Johann languidly followed. He wasn’t on good terms with his mother, but Jillian was there and observing them. He didn’t want to give a bad impression that she might learn.

“Mom, good thing you came.” James said and kissed their mother’s cheeks.

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss this special family dinner.” Juliana cheekily smiled at James.

He boringly stood beside Eli while looking at them.

Her mother’s eyes dropped in to where he was. James moved away and walked towards his wife and held her waist. Eli smiled sweetly at her husband. Johann wiped away that intensifying jealousy that crept within him. Jealous at how perfect his older brother’s family was. He deserved it, though.

“Uncle Nick, aren’t you going to kiss and greet, Granny?” Jillian naively asked as she gave him that innocent look.

He went back from his fleeting reverie as he heard those words from his lovely niece.

Johann cleared his throat and moved towards his mother and kissed her on her cheeks and immediately moved away and looked at his brother, Eli, and Jillian.

“Come on, let’s go to the backyard. I’m sure they were already done setting up our dinner.” He tried to make his voice lively and looked at Jill, who was smiling from ear to ear.

“Spaghetti and meatballs?” He asked in a bouncier tone – now, it was more genuine than the first one.

“Spaghetti and meatballs! Yey!” Jillian excitedly exclaimed as she nodded her head.

With that, he held her little hand and guided her towards the vast backyard.

Jameson, Eli and their mother, Juliana, followed them.

The backyard was filled with white fairy lights that were well decorated on the trees and plants. The lamp post gave the cozy ambiance as well as the cool air that was brushing their skin.

A huge wooden table with a red and white tablecloth was matched with wooden chairs that had foam in it.

Jillian instantly pulled him in front of the table the moment she saw the food feast – especially her favorite spaghetti and meatballs.

It was indeed a festive and fun dinner under the moonlight. Johann felt contentment once again and it was all thanks to Jillian who became the source of their family’s happiness.

She became the light that brightened their lives – especially his. She gave him the reason to be motivated at times that he felt like he was being engulfed with too much hatred and grief. Her innocence brought him to build himself and looked at the brighter side of everything.

“Uncle Nick, I’m going to sleep here. Let’s jam together tomorrow. Please…” Jillian cutely requested after their sumptuous dinner.

“Did you ask your parents about that?” He smiled playfully.

“Of course. Mom told me that I could. Besides its Saturday tomorrow – it’s my free day!” The little kid was still smiling brightly at him as she said those words.

“Fine. Go to Nanny Mila and help her prepare your room.” He softly ordered and gently tapped her head.

“Yes!” Jillian happily exclaimed as she moved towards where Eli and James where and kissed their cheeks and bid goodnight. Then, she moved towards Nanny Mila, and they went to where her room in the mansion was.

“Are you sure, it was okay if she stayed for the night here?” He didn’t even notice that Eli was now standing beside him as they both watched Jillian walk towards the mansion and now out of their sight.

He looked at James, who was now talking to their mother, and moved his eyes to Eli.

"Of course. You know how much I love whenever Jillian was around.” He smiled genuinely at her.

Eli reciprocated it with a bright smile – Jillian’s face popped into his mind – she did really look alike.

“Thank you for taking care of her, Nick.” Eli told him in her usual soothing voice.

“It wasn’t a big deal, Eli. She was naturally bright, ecstatic, and lively. It was contagious, though.” He sincerely assured her.

Eli looked away and stared at the illuminating fairy lights glittering in the midst of darkness.

“Yeah. She is. And don’t forget that she was also talkative and nosy most of the time.” She said as a matter of fact, and they both laughed.

He and Eli were close. She was like his elder sister. He was just so happy that they were there for him. They were the only family that he had.

“Uhmm… Nick. I know I didn’t have the right to tell you this, but I already treated you as my younger brother and you know that.” Eli said those words with that sweet smile on her face – breaking the comfortable silence between them.

Johann looked at her – she was looking at the stars shining brightly in the dark sky.

“I know the feeling of having that heavy burden placed on your bare shoulders and worst in your heart, but I hope you find a way to lift it up and start by looking at the brighter side. It wasn’t easy to give forgiveness, Nick, but it was more difficult to be stuck forever in a cage with unforgiveness still buried inside your heart – with all of those possibilities and opportunities that were already knocking at your door.” Eli’s words hit him like a rushing truck.

“James and you both really love to talk riddles, huh?” He playfully told her – as he tried to ease their intense conversation.

Eli chuckled, and gently patted his shoulder – but deep inside him, those were the words that haunted him that whole night.

He couldn’t sleep with a lot of what-ifs and what-happened things that were running endlessly inside his mind.

Johann let out a deep sigh and he got up from his King-sized comfy bed and decided to go downstairs to drink cold water.

But before he could even do that, his phone rang, and delivered the most painful news he could ever receive in his entire life.