POV: Johann / Nick

He urgently went to the hospital the moment after he received that call from the hospital – it was the longest ride he could ever take. He could drive, yes. But he wasn’t in his right mind to maneuver a car right now, so he asked for his driver, Harrison, instead.

It was just past two in the morning. Nick leaned his back in the backseat of the car. He was agitatedly looking out the car window while silently praying that everything he heard from the phone was just a prank.

He couldn’t stop his heart beat in thumping so fast and hard that it wanted to burst from its cage. He clenched his both hands into a balled fist that it almost turned into paperwhite. It was trembling, and even his entire system was – he was trying to stifle his mixed emotions and maintain his calm demeanor.

“Aren’t we there yet?” Nick impatiently asked Harrison as he tried to collect himself.

“We’re almost there, Sir.” The driver answered lowly – as he took a quick glance at him in the rearview mirror, then back to the road on which they were already entering the gate of a prestigious hospital.

“Just stop in front and go to the parking area.” He urgently ordered him, which Harrison obediently obliged.

The car wasn’t stopping yet, but Nick immediately went out of it and ran inside. He immediately went towards the reception area.

“Jameson and Eliana Baker.” He said those words with mixed urgency and nervousness laced in his voice.

His hands were shaking, and his heart beat quickened, with all of the raging thoughts popping into his mind – which he immediately ignored.

“May I know, who are you, Sir, and how are you related to them?” The nurse courteously asked as she immediately manipulated the computer and then looked at him – waiting for his answer.

“I’m Nicholas Johann Baker. Jameson was my brother and Eliana was my sister-in-law.” He anxiously answered as he tapped his fingers on the table.

“How… How are they? What happened to them? Are they okay?” Those pressing questions immediately escaped from his mouth.

The eagerness to know what happened to them was killing him.

The nurse looked at him with those sad eyes and looked at the other nurse behind her.

“Beth, kindly assists Mr. Baker with the two patients who just got admitted here from the vehicular accident.” The nurse promptly ordered the other nurse on duty who was checking one of the charts there behind her.

The nurse looked at him with the same sad and sympathetic eyes, and instantly put down the charts she was holding and moved towards him.

Yes.

James and Eli met a vehicular accident few hours ago. It was a bomb to his ears. He couldn’t even move, but he needed to collect himself. He needed to find out what happened and how they were. He needed to be strong – but he was more concerned for Jillian.

“This way, Sir.” She said politely – there was something into the way they looked at him that he couldn’t comprehend, or he was just too scared to admit.

“W-what happened to them? Why won’t you answer me?!” He was getting impatient now, but the nurse just looked at him and sighed.

“Just please follow me, Sir.” She calmly answered instead.

Nick gritted his teeth.

The hallway that led to wherever James and Eli were seemed so far away. They turned another way into another until they reached the end of the last hallway that they turned to.

The nurse stopped in her tracks and looked at him with those sad eyes and gently cleared her throat.

“I… I’m sorry Mr. Baker. But Mr. Jameson Baker was dead on arrival. His body was inside.” The nurse gloomily informed him and motioned her hand at the closed door beside them.

Nick’s mouth agape as he unbelievably looked at the signage written in the upper part of the door.

Morgue.

One word that crashed his heart.

His legs trembled as he read the word again and again and again – as if he didn’t know how to read it… or he didn’t want to acknowledge that it was where James was right now.

“W-what?” He shakingly asked – his voice low and almost inaudible.

The nurse just kept silent as he watched him at his broken state.

“They encountered a vehicular accident, Sir. Mr. Baker was dead on arrival when they got here. While Mrs. Baker was still in the operating room, Sir.” The nurse gave him the unfortunate details that made him numb for a couple of seconds.

Nick sighed breathily and held his hair roughly with his hand. His mind was in haywire as his unshed tears blurred his vision.

His legs weakened, that he needed to sit in the waiting chair at the side of the hallway where they were standing. He placed both of his elbows on his knees as he covered his face with his palms – tears started to stream down his face.

“N-no…” He said that word close to inaudible for his throat and nose were clogged and his emotions were crumbling down in front of him.

His brother’s face, smiling at him, flashed in his mind – making him feel the agony more, like a sharp pointed object just hit his chest… it was so painful, but he didn’t know how to take it away.

He remembered how they were when they were kids. He was the only one who stood beside him when their family was on the rocks. He’s the one who supported him when their father died. He wasn’t just a brother to him – he was his best friend, his business partner, his comrade.

Nick bit his lower lip hard enough to – hopefully – stifle his miserable sobs, but it escaped – anyway – and it was followed by another sob after the other.

~ “Johann… just cry. Don’t believe those stupid kids. Don’t believe them when they say that men don’t cry… just cry.” Little James soothingly said to him as he patted his shoulders.

“But they said, crying was just for gays. I am not gay!” He said poutingly.

The kids pushed him that caused his bruised knees and arms. He sat at the side of the road, crying, when he’s brother saw him. He instantly joined him and sat beside him.

James let out a deep sigh.

“It doesn’t mean that when you cry – you’re gay. Crying is good, it will make you ease the pain. It will help you gain strength and face them again. But you should know when to stop crying. You need to be strong and stand where you stumble, okay?” James said as he gently patted the top of his head.

“Now, stop it and we’ll go home. Mom and Dad might see you like that. Just tell them that you’re with me so they won’t scold you again, okay?” His brother gently told him to get up and help him. ~

~ “Y-your dad… H-he… H-he’s gone…” Their mother couldn’t look them in the eyes and informed them.

It was a raging bomb to him – but it became bearable because James was always on his side. He became his best friend. He became his confidante. He was the only one who understood him. ~

Nick bit his lower lip more – causing it to bleed a little just by those treasured memories.

~ “Just take care of yourself, okay? And take care of Jillian…” ~

That was the last sentence he told him last night when they got their blissful family dinner. He was just smiling brightly in front of him as he tapped his shoulder before he went into the car. He was…

Nick shook his head and firmly closed his eyes.

How the heck would something like this happen? – He thought.

He didn’t know how long he stared blankly at the door in front of him before he finally collected himself. He felt numb and he couldn’t find any strength to face this tragical part of his life.

“Mr. Baker, we need to go to the ICU now. Mrs. Baker was now done with the operation and the doctor wanted to talk to you.” The nurse carefully said to him after reading a text message on her phone.

Nick let out a deep sigh as he gathered all his strength to finally stand up.

Before he could even take a step, he saw Harrison standing beside him.

He was looking at him with those concerned eyes. Maybe, he had this slight idea of what was happening now – for he didn’t have any chance nor the strength to give him the details.

Nick cleared the lump of his throat as he looked plainly at Harrison.

“Call Mom and tell her what happened. I need to go to Eli.” He ordered Harrison – without any sign of any emotion.

“Y-yes, Sir.” Harrison stammered as he answered him.

Nick just nodded and followed the nurse to where he was taking him. He was oblivious to what was happening. This forlorn situation was wearing him down, but he needed to stay strong.

Then Jillian’s smiling face suddenly popped up in his mind – which made him hard to breathe. He didn’t know how to inform her. He felt deep frustration and agony.

“Mr. Baker. I’m Doctor Henry Lopez.” The doctor introduced himself the moment they saw him waiting in front of the ICU room.

Nick could see pity in the doctor’s eyes – that he had gathered all his strength to brace himself for any possibility.

The doctor heaved a deep sigh before looking directly at him.

“The patient was in a coma. She suffered from a severe traumatic brain injury and I’m sorry to say this, but this might lead to her in a vegetative state or worst, death.” The doctor broke the news to him – causing him to clench his jaw and fist to calm his raging nerves.

A lot more explanations were given by the doctor, but he wasn’t in his right mind to process those other things.

“Can… Can I see her?” Nick lowly asked – interrupting the doctor’s clarifications.

The doctor heaved a deep sigh.

“Yes. You can see her now. She’s inside. If you have any more questions, kindly approach me. Nurse Beth will assist you. Please excuse me.” The doctor told him and gently patted his shoulder for the unsolicited comfort.

But he was too pre-occupied to acknowledge nor to be thankful for it.

His entire system was like floating in the air. He felt null and void. He couldn’t comprehend how did he tried to go to the ICU room without breaking down.

As if he ran out with a ten-wheeler truck the moment he saw Eli’s situation. There were a lot of devices and tubes connected to her body that were monitoring and keeping her alive. There was a bandage on her head and her pale face was covered with wounds and bruises.

Nick massaged his temples and gathered his strength to move towards the bed where Eli was lying. He needed to do this fast because there was only a short period of time to visit a patient in the ICU.

Besides, he couldn’t have the guts to stay long by looking at her in this kind of state.

He gently held her hand, the moment he went near Eli – he felt the unbearable throbbing emotions.

“E-Eli…” His voice broke as his tears started to blur his vision once again.

“Please stay strong, Eli. Jillian needs you. Stay strong, okay? You need to… p-please…” Nick begged while crying.

He didn’t know what to do.

Right now, he was so much wrecked by his brother’s death.

And as he thinks of Jillian – and if Eli wouldn’t wake up or when…

He shook his head moderately as he tried to erase that possibility.

No!

Eli was a fighter.

She was an orphan and she managed to live by herself independently. She worked as a waitress in a restaurant while studying. She also applied to their company after graduating – where she met his brother.

She was a sweet woman who became my older sister. She was a family to him.

“I know you can make it, Eli…” Nick silently whispered as he wiped his tears away.

But his heart was clenched achingly when he heard the monitor beep crazily. His entire system froze as he saw Eli’s tears flowing from her firmly shut eyes.

The nurses and the doctor came rushing inside the ICU. One of the nurses assisted him out of the room, and he obliviously did so.

Hours passed and a lot of nurses came back and forth to the room. Nick watched them absentmindedly while sitting in one of the waiting chairs. Then, the doctor finally went out. He languidly took off his surgical cap and looked directly at him.

Nick immediately stood up.

The doctor gently shook his head and looked at him with those lonely eyes.

“I’m sorry, but we’ve done everything to save her… but she’s dead.”

That was all he said and gave him a gentle pat on his shoulder.

“N-No…” He inaudibly whispered.

His legs left its strength and he plopped down the waiting chair behind him. He hunched his back and placed his arms on his knees as his fingers clenched his hair tightly.

He was in deep turmoil as he gritted his teeth to prevent himself from shouting out loud.

Nick didn’t know what to do now.

Eli and James were both gone.

And Jillian…

He shut his eyes firmly for the agonizing emotions that crept within him.